Changing my beat

[Overread]

Well some (mostly those looking for that meet happening on that other place) might have noticed that I don't have much (any) forward planning happening in my life at the moment - well there is a long story behind that but to shorten things down to a shorter post (and so you don't all get bored and clear off ;).

In short I was at uni studying Physical Geography, however my 3rd year (this is going back a good 2 years now) was interrupted because I was attacked part way through the year and that laid me off uni for a while and broke my studies - so I called it off for that year and decided to come back the next year ready to finish. Suffice to say that didn't happen - I came back, but my dissertation fell apart and nothing got sorted (my end not facing things) for a long while - long enough to mess that year up as well.
However I recovered (or at least thought I had) and I came back this last year to finish things again - and I started really well for the first month - then I ran out of steam. I lost all energy to study, attend lectures or do any dissertation work.
So here I am again and this time the choices are different - its quiet now and take a diploma (based on my first 2 years of completed study) or put the course on hold and come back in a few years time to finish the final year (the uni preserving my grades from the first completed 2 years). The first option appears the most attractive, but its the one that might be the poorer choice in the longer term viewing of things and its an option which all around me have not encouraged (though as you might have guessed I have always had family support in the choices I have made).

So I am now adrift and floating - right in the middle of an employment crash too! However through those last two years (and last year more than ever) something has been both a distraction and a retreat from my "sins" and that was my photography. I am now in a position where I feel that its what I want to follow more (far more than picking the course I liked most at school as a basis for my degree). However its not just the camera that interests me, but also the wildlife and that whole area in general - however that area in courses (in the UK) is limited (1 option that I found that was not a masters) and that also tells me that there is going to be very limited options once I get out as well - so I am now also considering video work also, where there are a few more options, though I do need to put time into properly looking at hte courses on offer and such.

Do I think I am the next big thing in that world - heck no! I have no illusions that I am the best, nor that I know all there is - there is a heck of a lot I don't know and a lot which I don't even know exists -- But its an area I enjoy, that I find the drive and motivation for and which I could be happy working at and that to me is more important than drawing a big salary (as nice as that is).
So that is the story and where I am heading now - or at least where I am like to aim now if I get the chance (certainly I need that university grant!). So anyone got any advice or thoughts


ps - that was harder to write than it looks

[Lord Montagu the 3rd]

well if nothing else and if you like cameras you could always join the great unwashed and get a job in a camera shop :biglaugh:

[kundalini]

well there is a long story behind that but to shorten things down to a shorter post (and so you don't all get bored and clear off ;).
Still too many words. I'll read it tomorrow. :)

[Antarctican]

There's a lot to be said for doing something you love. So give it your best shot (no pun intended), be prepared to work hard, and to think outside of the box in order to distinguish yourself from others struggling to get into that field as well. All the best!!

[Aggie]

As one who still hasn't figured out what they want to be when they grwo up.... (insert senior citizen age here) I can empathize. I've been lucky, and did pick up some degrees along the way. I got my first two (double major) in four years. One was communications once I decided after working so hard for my poly sci degree and being acceptedat law school that route was not for me. I worked in public relations and marketing for a few years, then got married. Married I moved to so. Cal. and couldn't find a job. I didn't have Orange County experience, so it was back to the drawing board on what to do. I spent most the next few years concentrating on helping hubby go up the corporate ladder. Then i decided it was back to school. I wanted to be a psychatrist. This meant med school. I worked hard and did get my molecular bio chem degree. I took the MCAT got 13's out of 15's even had three med school interviews lined up. Promptly I was in the hospital with blood clots. Seems the way I studied was detrimental to my health. This threw me for a loop. You have to study hard and long for med school classes. So I did a 180 degree turn about and started on my 4th degree. This time it was fine arts. I'm only short about 15 credit hours of getting my BFA. But again my health intruded onmy plans. So I've contimplated finally taking a good remedial English class with the thought of if i am going to sit so darn much of the time, I might as well write. If my current health problems would just stabilize, I have the Shakespearan festival people telling me to go for the regular acting jobs, not just the greenshow stuff I do. But with the economy taking a downturn and never knowing what tomorrow will bring, It's about time i figured out what to do.

I did find that taking several years off raising kids between college degrees did help my attitude about studying. I became more focused. You seem young, and that is an advantage. You have time on your side to take a few years off and do something fun, like travel on a freight ship or work your way around Europe. It will also give you time to figure out what you really want to study.

[ferny]

To be honest, it doesn't look like you'll be able to go back and finish off. I think that some people aren't designed to study in the way universities are set up and some of those people are able to cope but that's all. Sounds like you may be one of them and you running out of steam was your realisation that it wasn't for you. But... this is based on a few lines you've written and nothing more.

Isn't Bill Oddie being replace by Chris Packham? He must have done something between now and The Really Wild Show. I know he likes his cameras and wildlife. Find out what and give that a go? ;)

[PhotoJet]

As one who is living at a point on the rather shorter end of the life line, and one whose children are grown, I'll tell you what I know... and I have to tell you that I am extremely happy you asked! hahaha ;)
First, you will give your all to your passion. That is purely fact!

Next, you do not have to plan the whole thing out. I am sure there are places you can study to learn about photography and places you can learn about 'zoo management' (which may be close to wildlife studies). Talk to the people at the place you go to shoot the foxes. You should pick up a couple classes in each of these and see what they are about. You may find that your true passion is not in photography, but in wildlife management. Or you may find the reverse is true.

Next, take the degree you have earned. This is life. You (as Aggie pointed out) do not have to be limited to just one thing! I have several degrees myself, and it has only served to make my work life more dimensional and valuable. My motto is to continuously learn. :goodvibes:

Next, take care of whatever is troubling you. Have you talked to a counselor about what happened? If not, please do that. There is nothing worse in this world than walking around with a self-imposed weight on your shoulders. You need to be free of that.

Lastly (I'll bet you thought this would never end), be very careful how much time you spend on those video games. :shock: I'm here to tell you that it can be very easy to "hide" in them and thus totally avoid what needs to be done. I would have to say that I have seen more kids/people utterly hog-tied by those things than just about anything else. Having said that, I will tell you that I like computer games. BUT, I am 57 years old, and I STILL need to monitor myself, or I'll while away the wholeblasted afternoon on them! So, even if you think you have control... it's unlikely. Best way to tell is the 40-day test. give it up for 40-days. If you are wondering why I even bring this up, it's because of your blog! On your "about" page... it's the first thing you list! Not animals, not photography, not anything about yourSELF. You identify yourself by saying "I play games." Think about that.''

So, that's it! See, now you have hit my true gift! Giving advice! :love: BUT I want you to know that I only give it to those I care about! ;)

[kundalini]

Have you got a large salt block next to you? You'll need that at the ready when reading the following. It's a synopsis of my life.

While attending the first twelve years of schooling, I did not really extend myself. Unlike my sister who constantly kept her head in the books (and is going for her third masters), I was daydreaming of things I'd rather be doing. Don't get me wrong, I did well with my grades and I also enjoyed learning, but the tedium of study wasn't my cup of tea. In the later years of high school, I discovered cannabis. Well, that knock the sports career in the head.

I grew up on a working grain and tobacco farm. This was my intended vocation. I loved to work the land, working with my hands, figuring out how to engineer a work around with equipment failures, being out in the elements, sense of self sustenance, not working for "the man" and not requiring a toilet to take a leak. I planned to go to our local state college for a degree in agriculture, which is well noted for its ag and engineering. My senior year in high school I required a spinal fussion (L5-S1). This was back in the late 70's and medical procedures were much more invasive than today. I have a Frankenstein scar on my lower back still and pain is a daily truth. So, farming was out of the question now.

I had to make a quick decision on what the hell to do now. I took a drafting class my senior year and thoroughly enjoyed that. So off to tech school for drafting and design. After that was completed, I decided to take a Business Admin course because I didn't think D&D was going to be a career choice for me. In my second year of BA, I crashed my car and had to pay for the damages........ but no money. Get a job, but what? I took a drafting job.

After several years of drafting and design, I decided to go back to college (the one mentioned earlier) to get my engineering degree. At that time, they laughed at my tech school credits and I would basically have to start from scratch. I had one child and another on the way. I was also making considerably more income than my contemporaries and did not go back to college.

I guess what I'm saying is that structured school was not what was best for me. But then again, I don't know any different. I think about how things might be different from time to time, but I have no regrets.

Times are much different now though. A college degree is practically a must to be given any consideration for employment. Perhaps you could finish off your degree on a part-time basis since you are so close to finishing it off. Then you may find what your real passion is and take steps towards that.

That's my 2¢, which is probably not much of what you need but good luck for the decision making process.

[Hertz van Rental]

Going back into Education is always tough - and picking up a course to finish it at a later date very rarely happens.
I would go for the Diploma so your first two years haven't been wasted. And then move on.
If you are thinking of moving into something lens based - and specifically something to do with nature - then you will find that you have to create the job yourself.
You could try the BBC Natural History unit or the BBC in general to see if they have any trainee positions (https://jobs.bbc.co.uk/fe/tpl_bbc01.asp?newms=info31). Perseverance is necessary with the Beeb.
Research all the nature film makers/photographers and send them letters asking for an assistant job then follow up with a 'phone call. Again, perseverance is necessary.
While you do all that get a job/part-time job to earn a bit of money to live on and to keep your employment record looking OK.
People only ever want what they can't have. I have learned from experience that when you are out of work no one wants you. As soon as you get a job the offers come in.
Make some time for yourself too and take your own pictures then hawk the good ones around. The Writers & Arists' Yearbook (http://www.writersandartists.co.uk/) will help. Your local Library should have a copy.
Achieving your aims in life takes a lot of hard work, shoeleather, perseverance and the ability to not take no for an answer.
And you also need to recognise when it's best to cut your losses and try a different tack.

[Overread]

Many thanks for the input all - it is reassuring to hear of people who ended up in similar situations and still managed to pull through.

Photojet - I have seen my GP with regard to the situation and the general lack of energy and motivation and at the end of last year (when I was first feeling this effect in full swing) my GP did say that I was slightly depressed and I was placed onto a course of medication with regard to that - however I am now off that medication (depression and lack of engergy reard its head again in January when I went back and I sort of stopped taking the medication once I ran out). It was not a powerful drug since my assessment was not that critical plus my own view was (And always is) to beat it through with as little medication as possible, in my own view medication just covers the problem over rather than faces it and I didn't want to become such that I needed drugs to get through more tricky times (likes a crutch).
I was assessed again after this latest round and my not taking of the drug was not considered to be dangerous and infact the gp (different Gp this time as the other was away) did not think that I warrented even the lighter medication.
I never thought that it was the attack which was the rout cause of all this (it was a random late night attack - just me in the wrong place at the wrong time - so I never knew my attackers and nor was it a targeted thing) but its something which others have seen as a rout cause and I am now comming to accept that it did have more of an effect on myself than I thought it did.
I have not set any support plans in stone for the current period as I am not sure what my plans are - I still have my uni digs (rented room off campus) until september and might try to get a job in that area to tide me over for that time since there are more job chances in that area (though of course more people) than in my local home area. Its also not likley that I will be able to get another student to take the room at this time of the year (and with a patched hole in the kitchen).

You also had very good insight with the video games aspect - though at the moment I tend to hide more in forums than games (I feel more guilty hiding in games) I think I would have to give up forums for 40days for a proper test (probably won't happen though - least not at the moment ;)). It just don't feel as bad remaining in contact with some human life through forums as I do in playing games.
Though if I can get my teeth into something I can probably break this - its a retreat from things - but with a firm choice on the course aspect and a direction (and a drive) it should fall to one side hopefully.

Hertz - thanks for the pointers and the links - interestingly your one of the fewer to say take the diploma and cut loose as an option. I did have a look at the links you listed and there was a position on the BBC for a trainee widlife camera operator - though I would not meet some of the requirements for that - namly a lack of actual wildlife field experience - though its something I could try for in any case - can't hurt - and whilst I don't have direct film experience I do have my stills experience and my computing skills to draw from.

[Lensmeister]

well if nothing else and if you like cameras you could always join the great unwashed and get a job in a camera shop :biglaugh:

nah .. most of hte camera shop staff know naff all about camera or photograhy

[PhotoJet]

With regards to the meds... I think some doctors are just prone to shove a drug at you so they can move you along the assembly line belt and get on to the next "item". :rolleyes:

Don't give up the forum! At least not this one! hahaha ;) But do sit down and make a plan! A sort of "To-Do" list of goals for yourself.

First thing, take care of the housing/job thing, then tell them at the school you want the degree you have earned.

I'm a real freak for goals and lists like this. Somehow when it's in writing, it's easier to look at the words and say "Hm... is this a doable goal?" Or "Ok, now it's time to get to work on this goal!"

The one thing I would say though is to make sure these goals are attainable. Things like "Clean the kitchen floor" or "Call the fox place to set up an informational interview" or "Call the BBC and tell them they need me." Goals are not things like "Save the whales" or "Become the next big thing." While those things may happen, and can serve as ideals and 'destinations' they are largely unattainable and will only serve to disappoint you. Make your goals attainable. One of the best thing about a written goal list is that you can cross them off as you do them! The visual of seeing that you have accomplished something is one of the best "drugs" for repairing mild depression!

If you are not part of one, find a camera club of people with similar interests... perhaps the place where you go to shoot the animals can tell you of one that has a membership who likes to do this. At any rate, I've found that camera clubs are full of experienced photographers who love it that someone might actually want to learn from them. That's not to say you won't find 'curmudgeons' there... :irked: hahaha :lol:

Hope this helps, too!

[Lensmeister]

HI I have to post this and it's ok my lad does know.

I am on med myself, and I joined a forum about the meds and got some help and advice. BUt I really have to say. My Doc was great .. instead of doing a 10 minute appointment and a prescription she talked and made an assessment over an hour making other wait.

I used to Pray that God would help me with mystress etc. And he did .. good doctor, good advice and made me realise I shoud put 2 fingers to the world and say Get stuffed if something is stressing me out. SO I do. OK so I can't drink alcohol, and I get a little more tired, but it's cooled me down and it's made me realise there are more important things to think about.

Good old GP had me on them over Xmas, and now I am gearing up for the run down and coming off them. Sure I get stressed or angry or pee'd off at things. But I can't think of anyone that doesn't in life.

Sooo I say that if meds help you get in check ... sometimes it's worth seeking help in that way, but not for everyone.

Councelling is good, but I took a new approach to my problems. I made a list. And when I achieved things on it I drew a line through it. So now I know how far I am getting on. and what's go ifI lapse in somethihng I just add it to the bottom of the list and I go back and try again. After all no one gets everyting right first time ... do they ?

ok soapbox away,meds taken, bed is calling (not literally as then I'd need other meds ;) )

Night all.

[Arch]

Some good advice here, and what you can see from alot of people.... we are all a little screwed up (or have been) in our own special ways... so one thing you can take from it is that you are not in anyway a lesser person for what happened to you or the life you want to live now.

Im 32 now (still learning) but i guess iv been through a fairly 'different' (but in a good way of course) life.

I'v been on the meds, iv seen several shrinks (they were fun), iv been dependent on 'mild' drugs, unable to socialize and addicted to gaming (which i still am) and various other socially unagreeable things.
You would never know it to look at me, people are often supprised when i say i don't go out much and spend all my time on computers.

One thing iv learned tho is to say screw the people that look at it in negative way, and just be who you are.
I use to be so self conscious and worry about who i was, especially in my early to mid 20's.
I didn't now if i really wanted to be a graphic designer, even tho i had my 5 year degree... i was looking for other work and spent years doing nothin much other than smoking pot and playing games, and like Hertz said, if your out of work you tend to get nowhere with applications.

Eventually i have settled back in design work... only by being a freelancer and finding people to work with.. its taken over 5 years to even get this far.

Choose what it is you want to do and try and stick with it.... the way i see it, at least you have interests, believe me i have friends that don't have any, other than getting pissed on the weekends after working a job they hate.
Just cuz they have money and go out alot doesn't mean they are better off than you, even tho many make out they are.

If you want to go into wildlife photog to make money, one option is just to take pictures at council owned reserves, private reserves, zoo's, events etc and send samples to the management. I have known a few people that then get commissioned to do more. You could then add this to print sales from a website.
This would be tough tho profit wise and you may find you will have to figure out other ways to nake money from photography.

[Aggie]

Meds??? I have some of the nastiest pain killers in my cabinet. The last script was for 120 pills of a synthetic morphine. I've taken a whopping 6 of them in the last month. I'm one of those who has to be in really bad pain to take the darn things. Something that has helped me is learning hypnosis many years ago. With the birth of my second child imminent, the docs told me that i had to have a c section, no way around it, and that they didn't want to give me any anethestic. So I learned hypnosis. We all cracked jokes during the c section. But I won't be a martyer. I have energy only so long to work the hypnosis thing. After a few hours, it is time to give me drugs. I wait until evening, and take them just before bed so that i sleep through the fuzzy feelings. Hypnosis is redirecting your mind. Getting involved in mind games that literally take your mind off the pain. Great tool, but no miracle cure. It takes discipline, and stubborness to practice it often. You might try it. It also helps to focus your thoughts for studying as well. Helped me get through P chem and organic chemistry.

[Hertz van Rental]

there was a position on the BBC for a trainee widlife camera operator - though I would not meet some of the requirements for that - namly a lack of actual wildlife field experience - though its something I could try for in any case

To become a camera operator (for film) you usually have to have been a clapper-loader and focus puller first. Or done a Degree in Cinematography.
Still apply for it but say that you realise you don't have the experience but it's what you want to be. And ask their advice on what you should do to get there.
Offer to work as a runner even.
A good way to get into film work is to just be there. Make contacts, hang around, make yourself useful. Don't be pushy but be eager and be prepared to work for nothing.
A quick Google should pull up sites with people making low budget films who are looking for crew. The pay is usually lo/no or deferred (lo=low pay, no=no pay and deferred= you defer any pay against a percentage of the profits. But as they very rarely make a profit...) hence the need for a flexible p/t job in addition.
The BBC likes to see a 'track record' and commitment so anything you can get on to your CV is a bonus. They also keep applications on file ;)
You could also try BECTU (http://www.bectu.org.uk/home).
They have a Student Register, they used to have a training officer and they will certainly give you sound advice - and maybe even some contacts.
Like most creative careers it's not what you know, it's who you know.

[Overread]

Many thanks again all :)

With regard to long term plans this is something that did grate at me at lot during the last year or more and was something that I did feel very lost about - I was doing a degree, but beyond that I had no real plans and its only in the last few months and weeks that I have started to really come together with some longer term ideas of where I would like to take myself. I guess in part I just needed some time to get to know myself and understand myself as before that I was very much just ticking over - that works for a time, but if you get knocked of the rails at any point I found it hard to get back on them again and keep plugging on.

I think I now have some directions to head in and some people to call - so its time to get to work and see what I can get. At the moment its trying out the BBC line (for advice if I can get nothing else out) some universities - I do like stills work, but jobwise it seems to be a bit dead - film seem a little more open for work - at least freelance work and I can use that skill in other productions if I find I need money and a job to tied me over a points in life.
From there I will see what I can get - if all else fails its time to start looking at more local options - the reserves, zoos etc... and seeing if there are shorter courses and workshops that I can get involved with to build up my skillbase.